there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
