Dual....:-)
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Randomize
