i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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