I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
