No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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