I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
