On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
