At least make sure they are 18
Why
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
