The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
