a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
