How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize