she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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