At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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