Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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