i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
