I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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