You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
