There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
