I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to coat check the pizza.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize