I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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