plz talk dirty to me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
