so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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