She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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