Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize