My friends, they love my intelligence
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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