I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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