The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
