Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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