She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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