I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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