woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
