I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
