She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
kristin has been a bad kristin
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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