Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
