i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
