so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
