i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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