What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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