actually, I'm a sock model
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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