i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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