i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I still have a little drunk in my system
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
