Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
