You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
