I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
