she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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