He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
