Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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