I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Holy shit dude........stairs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
