I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
