do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
