We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
