just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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