how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
