guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My bed smells like the plague
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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