i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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