at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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