Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize