I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I smell stomach acid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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