I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
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So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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