Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
