I am in a vortex of obligation.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
