you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wear drunk well.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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