are you so shy because you have an std?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
