**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My penis needs a shock collar
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
