Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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