do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
