The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize